Yuk It Up
- Some men in a pickup truck
drove into a lumberyard. One of the men walked in the
office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk
said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said,
"I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned
in a minute and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours." "Alright.
How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a
minute and said, "I'd better go check." After awhile,
the customer returned to the office and said, "A long
time. We're gonna build a house."
- If I have three pinyon pine nuts
in one hand, and four in the other, what do I have? A
difference of a pinyon!(Pinyon pines are short-statured
pine trees that produce edible seeds often called "pine
- A young man who was also an avid
golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon.
He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could
get in 9 holes before he had to head home.
Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled
onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young
man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no,
he allowed the old gent to join him.
To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He
didn't hit the ball far but plodded along consistently
and didn't waste much time. They reached the ninth fairway,
and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There
was a large pine tree right in front of his ball, directly
between his ball and the green.
After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot
the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your
age I'd hit the ball right over that tree." With
that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung
hard and hit the ball right smack into the top of the
tree trunk, where it thudded back on the ground not a
foot from where it had originally been. The old man offered
one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age
that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."
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